I found a place to hide away
Burrowing under covers
From monsters and demons (and me)
And if I could stay here, I would
And not have to see the pain on your face
The way I've seen joy on your face
In those pictures of you and me.
I told a friend I was tired of that joy
Because love means pain means apathy
Because people can only take so much scarring
Before they lose their sense of purpose
And I wish there was something more than this
Hitting walls at every turn
Turning until exhaustion
Exhausting every option just hoping
That maybe this time the road leads home
And if breaking made you stronger
I feel like I should be invincible
But instead all I see are fragments
And fragile, threatened promises.
So I found a place to hide away
Reading old poetry
Rehearsing broken lines
Remembering what they meant
Who they were meant for
Decrypting my codes
Missing ones I've left (or did they leave me?)
Wishing my stomach would untwist
Wondering what could have been
Cowering under blankets
Hiding from something (it's nothing)
Wondering how many more waves I'll (make you) face
Before I just give in
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
I found a place to hide away
Monday, September 26, 2016
Thursday, June 30, 2016
The Fox and Wolf are warring, my child
Take cover from their blows
Tooth and claw and furious eyes
Their conflict, silent, grows
The Fox and Wolf are warring, my boy
They cannot be consoled
A shadow lives on from the past
And darkness fills the soul
The Fox and Wolf are warring, my dear
They hunt beneath the skin
Your maiden, in secret, longs for you
She stretches out her hand
The Fox and Wolf are warring, my love
And discontentment reigns
They shred her heart and tear her mind
She longs for you in vain
July 30, 2016
Friday, January 23, 2015
The same way he fell in love with me
That crashing, caving kind of feeling
Of pure mortality
An addict with a pen
Crashing into the wind
And everything is falling
And everything is out of hand
Monday, October 20, 2014
Like the empty space behind my eyes
Like the empty space between the lines
That begs me to fill it with words I can't find.
There's something out there, something I can't see yet
Some emotion for this empty chest
Something that matters, some sort of rest
Something more than a hollow goodbye
But "goodbye." There's nothing left...
Saturday, March 15, 2014
How can you keep smiling
And pretending like everything's alright?
Can I even start to count all of the times
That you've stared at me and said
Those very same lies
Like neither of us are afraid?
And when you look into my eyes
Can you not see the fear
Or the sadness or that I'm terrorized?
How can everything be so grandly aligned,
And if this is all some plan
Then where's the design?
And how can you just look at me and smile?
As if you don't feel the hurt
And neither of us is in denial.
The world is cruel and black and cold
And it's ripping you away from me
And I'm scared that I might let go
And I'm terrified of losing you
Just like I'm terrified to face my own soul
As it screams and it cries out
"Just leave me alone!"
....but when you look at me and I sigh?
I change it to one of contentment
Like the pleasure is all mine
And like the pressure is bearable
And like these are not the same eyes that cry
And when you ask me.....
Friday, October 25, 2013
Does it feel right when the ground drinks in His blood?
Drive the nails deeper
Drive the crown further
The broken Son of Man
Betrayed once again.
Do you smile again as He cries out?
Does it make you proud to see your work?
Your sins hung Him there
You hang Him again
Crushing His heart
With the weight of your darkness
Do you hear His words still?
Can you make out His voice?
It's rising above the earthquake
Louder than the ripping of the veil.
Can you hear Him?
"I love you anyway."