Thursday, July 5, 2012

Victim

Robbery of mind and soul
The night-borne thief wont let go
You pull and pull with all your might
But can't win against the beast of the night
Murder of a hopeless heart
Flame extinguished, left in dark
Alone and scared, not sure where to go
Abandoned, forgotten, left on your own
Victim of a thief and liar
Forced to walk into the fire
Flames rise up and smoke turns black
You cannot forget your past
Needing help from someone stronger
Can't hold on for much time longer
Beating heart but growing weak
Awaiting for your Hope to speak

Date unknown
Leaena

Wrecked

Going nowhere, driving fast
No purpose, no hope, and no past
Going up and soon back down
Taking yourself around and around
A shadow runs into the middle of the road
No hesitance or fear it shows
Brakes on, brakes on
But you're going too fast
It's not good enough now
As time flies past
Impact, now, you're at the end of your ride
Your world goes black as you collide
Flip over and over, the silence screams
And slowly nightmares emerge from your dreams
Fall through oblivion, slip through the cracks
Begin to doubt if you'll ever get back
Headlights catch the smoke and fire
The flames rise up higher and higher
Begin to feel the burn of the blaze
And hear the Devil call your name
Far away, police lights flash
The last of your breath soon will be passed
Hands reach out, almost too late
They pick you up and unseal your fate
Next you know, in a hospital bed
Bandages wrapped around your head
Arm in a cast, can barely move
Can't even get up to walk 'round the room
Recovery comes, surely but slow
As time wears on you realize you know
You're not going down that road again
Where the shadows make your life nearly end
Once was too far, but never again
Will you risk your life down that road once you mend.

Date unknown
Leaena

Ragdoll

I was walking on coals
You set the fire
Let the flames eat me up
And slay my desires
Left me choking on smoke
And breathing in pain
You scorched heart, soul, and mind
Made acid from rain
I was stepping on nails
And you beat me down
I felt the glass in my flesh
When I hit the hard ground
I crawled through the desert
You whipped me with sand
Blamed it on the passing storm
But you brought it on the land
I was coming undone
And you tore all the threads
What once held me together
Put me on edge
The knives carved my skin
And you looked away
You just led me on
Like it was some game to play
Stitched a smile on my face
And sent me on my way
Saying its all fine
Everything's okay
You killed me, my torment,
As I hang from this rope
Your hand held the knife
That finally slit my throat

July 3, 2012
Leaena


For a series of drawings I'm doing. It's a black ragdoll that's going through each of these situations, getting more and more torn up until it comes apart at the seams. The final drawing is the doll hanging from a rope, a smile literally stitched onto its face as it dies. Kind of dark and creepy but it happens. Be careful how you treat others, you never know what else is going on.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

What if...

... We cared about someone other than ourselves?
... We decided to really live?
... We truly worshiped and loved God alone?
... We took our faith seriously?
... We completely surrendered?
... We took seriously God's charges to us?
... We knew each others faults and helped them through?
... We weren't scared to be vulnerable?
... We felt loved and secure?
... We thought for ourselves?
... We remembered why it is we live?
... We gave ourselves up?
... We truly knew our Creator?
... We trusted God more than ourselves?
... We encouraged each other?
... We loved for real?

We could change the world.


Date unknown
Leaena

Fire and Shadow

The darkness has no place in light
Fire and shadow never meet
Death can never touch true life
Sin can never greet our King

Date unknown
Leaena

To the Battle

Travel by night
Are you with me?
Fight
Stand aside, step aside
Battle cry
Not afraid
Alone into this battle
Shadows and the Shadow of Death
It's not over yet
We will win
So don't back down
Step aside, you forgot what this is for
Fight to live, live to fight
You've gotta see where the threat lies

Date unknown
Leaena

Eternity, Faith, and Christ

Some thoughts I've been thinking
Some things I must say
Before they leave
And these things pass away
Things I've thought in my silence
In the caverns of mountains inside my mind
Things I'm writing down
Of God and of time.
Eternity is often defined by time itself
As a bird carries sand to the sun
A single grain at a time
So long as that takes, eternity will have just begun
Such examples are true,
Yet unsettling at best
I suppose they're meant to be
But I shall explain my guess
Much as eternity is measured by time
It's because time can be measured
Eternity however is not time itself
But the absence of time's measure
To rephrase in different rhyme
Time does not define eternity
But eternity is the absence of time
Such has occurred to me.
It's a hard thing to grasp
A struggle to hold
But somehow it's come
In a way that I state, free and bold
So I grasp it loosely
For man can't understand
Not fully, without being God
Can any creature hold in its hand
But that is my thought of eternity
That matter loosed, I move on
To my thoughts on faith
And those on love
As to faith, it's not a thing,
No feeling that you hold
Not an apparition either
Real, but only in the soul
As if it is another realm
A place and time of its own
That no man can truly see
That no eye can ever behold
It seems to me that faith is within
Not man's power, but a God given hope
Known only by the deepest part
Of man's eternal soul
Faith is said to be a matter of mind
A mental choice if you will
And while that may be true in part
I believe it goes further still.
That what you believe
Is a decision to make
But that believing in something
Is inevitable "fate"
That it is impossible to logically understand
The eloquence of His word
But that it must be taken by faith alone
As out of a tree jumps a bird
It does not know of gravity
has not studied the natural laws
Only knowing that it has a choice
To starve or to fall
And off it will fly
As free as it is
Because it leaped
And chose to live
I've pondered and think
That such is faith
That you take what it is
And in its place
You leave the gaps
To be explained in time
By the One who gave them
Their intricate design.
Such are my thoughts on faith
Complex I suppose they may be
These are the things in silence
That have occurred to me
On to the mater of Christ and love
His loving us
But then our return
Of the love he gives up
An echo in my head
Haunting me today
That I shall summarize
With simple word and phrase
Should we not be
So consumed with Him
That we can't even imagine
Anything else within?
That we'd never dream of being
Anything but His?
Why not so consumed
And thus known as His kid?
That one look at us
And demons would flee
Our old clothes would bring healing
And all would know He is with me?
That He'd so radically change me
That they'd know whose I am
And who is mine
As I hold His hand
Why is it that we are not such
I have yet to comprehend
Though I may not have good reason
I have no solid answer yet
I suppose it is sin,
Our lust and our greed
Our self sufficiency
And convinced lack of need.

Date unknown
Leaena


I know I could have shortened this, and I know it's long. Maybe it makes sense, maybe it doesn't. But especially on this one, I'm interested to see what you think. Please, be sure to comment if you can. Thanks!


Submission Commission

This story's not over yet
Even this end is only the beginning
Doing what I have to do
Leaving behind what I once knew
Living for real at last
Following You, I won't turn back
Gotta lead the way
Make no mistake
I'm in forever
Let's fight, leading the way

Date unknown
Leaena

Frontline

Feel like I'm walking alone into the valley of the shadow of death. Step aside one another 'cause it ain't over yet. I'd be willing to bet that if you don't back down, you and I'll be the ones that are holding the crown in the end. When it's over we can say well done, but not yet 'cause it's only begun. So wake up and follow me we're the only ones to fight this thing until we've won.

Pillar: Frontline

Advance

Stand aside if you're afraid
We're goin' into the lion's den
No one's gonna fight but us
Step up if you're going in
We go by night
Today we fight
Shout your battle cry
Tonight we risk our very lives
No turning back,
Fists raised high
We're goin' in
Up on the front line
Advance if you believe the cause
Out here there are no common laws
Don't forget what this is for
Don't be afraid to enter the lion's jaws

Date unknown
Leaena

Reality?

You know nothing. You don't understand. You walk in the dark while the world is falling apart.
Is this what it's like to fully surrender? Did I finally do it right? Does it matter any more? I don't have the strength to fight.
Why am I alone? Looking into caverns and canyons, cliffs and oceans, the expanse around me- beautiful but alone. A new world of ships and islands, creatures unknown, a misty universe never fully seen. An expanse incomprehensible. Mountains, canyons, valleys: real until you enter. A place untouchable, unreachable, unreal. It defies reality, but then again, what is real?

Date unknown
Leaena

Trapped

An empty room lies still
A darkness never to be filled
By laughter, joy, or peace
But tears that never cease
Music plays a saddening song
Of romance lost after time so long
Sorrowful devotion plays
Through the passing of another day

Trapped in what used to be
Caged in life before
Captive to the things unseen
Alone forevermore

The wind blows through the trees
Leaves rocking in the breeze
A forest abandoned so long ago
No one treads the ground below
The melody of winds echo
A depressed song never lets go
Saddening hopefulness plays
Through the passing of another day

Trapped in the cold and dark
Just show us the love in your heart
Captive to death and fear
Just show us love and draw near

Date unknown
Leaena


Another song. Probly three or four years old.

Left

I had a dream last night
That you were by my side
But in a second, you vanished
You were gone
I searched most everywhere
But you were never there
That's when I woke up
And realized I was your pawn
You never really cared
You never dared
To let me find out about you
Like a book pushed aside
To make room for a new prize
You left me dead inside

Date unknown
Leaena


Another rewrite of a song, or at least part of one. This one's Fiction by Kids in the Way. Awesome music video if you've never seen it. Amazing song too. Sorry for the lack of originality in these last few posts. I promise there's better stuff on the way. And again, not about me. I'm just gonna stop saying that. I don't care if you think it's about me or not, it'll be a mystery from now on. So just enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2hQZdpSwko

In The Shadows

I do not breathe the breath of man
I have no name, none know what I am
No one can find me when I'm on my ground
You're never safe when I'm around
Listen to the ground, hear the cities moan
I leap from behind, I am the unknown

It's in my blood
It's in my bones
Dissolving my will
Won't leave me alone
Tearing through my heart
It floods through my veins
Venom like acid
Drives me insane
From the beginning
I've always known
It will never let me
Never let me go

I do not live a human life
I am my own, uncontrolled by time
Devour my kind, ravenous within
I am the place where no one has been
Listen to towers, hear creation moan
I kill and consume, I am the unknown

I'm fiery darkness, always surrounding
Never held back by human bindings
Keeper of the flames, Master of the night
I'm murder within, always I'll fight
Listen to valleys, hear the waters moan
Keep out of my way, I am the unknown

Date unknown
Leaena


Again, an attempt at a song. It's not original at all, I know. It's a complete rewrite of Lose Control by... guess who... House of Heroes. I guess I was listening to them a lot or something like that. But it's here. Disclaimer: This isn't really about me. I suppose to an extent, it could be, but that's not how it was intended. So just enjoy it. Hakuna Matata.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Walk With Me

Walk with me
Hold my hand
I'll get you home tonight
Press onward now
We'll be alright

2011, Date unknown
Leaena

My God

Hands up high
I close my eyes
My pulse matches Yours
The words flow past my lips
Purge me of my loneliness
My heart beats to Your time

Rythmic love
Melodious song
My God, my Lover
Sweet and strong
Peaceful walk
Restful care
My Shepherd, my Lord
You're everywhere

Feel you in the air tonight
Everything will be alright
Love cleans me within
Hope rushes in

2011, Date unknown
Leaena


Another attempt at a song, but I kept this one broken up how it was. Maybe some day it'll become something. If you have a suggestion for a better title, feel free to comment and let me know.

Your Greatest Sin

"Your greatest sin is not the abortion that you've asked forgiveness for or the adultery or whatever it is that you did in your life, in your past that you're ashamed of, that keeps pounding you. Your greatest sin is not that! Your greatest sin is not believing God's word. When God says 'You're forgiven!' your greatest sin is unbelief. You want to repent of something grand, stop repenting of sins you've already repented of and repent of your unbelief."

House of Heroes: Voices

Unending War

This unending war goes on tonight
We won't go down without a fight
Every drop of my brothers' blood
Spilled through torment in this mud
The coldest hour comes
Shadows approaching for death
Can't you see, oh God?
Will you not deliver us?
Bring my brothers to glory
Spread your wings
Deliverance and Shadow rage

Date unknown
Leaeana


This was definitely inspired by House of Heroes: Field of Daggers, just like my poem Without a Fight. This one is much much closer to the actual song, however. Really, I don't know why I did this one. Or Without a Fight either. But I did, so they're here. Hope you like them.

Without a Fight

I can't get out
I wish I could be free
Trapped in this cage
Of endless misery
Where have my dreams gone?
What happened here?
Let me out
I wanna be free
Release me now
I'm not goin down
I'll fight til I die
Won't sit back another night
Don't think I'll go quiet
The end won't be the end of this

Date unknown
Leaena


This was originally an attempt at a song. Most of those ended up failing. But it's at least a decent poem, so it's here. There was another verse with it, but I didn't include it up there. If you're interested, this was it:

The coldest hour comes
Every drop of blood that's flown
Wins forth their final glory
Death to my brothers, life to their spirits

That was waaaayyy too close to what I guess was the inspiration both for this and for Unending War, which happens to be House of Heroes' song Field of Daggers off their album The End is not the End. If you listen to the song, or look up the lyrics, you'll see what I mean.

Accepted

Held in the grasp
Of the care in His eyes
Carried by the grace
That He gave when He died
He says "Dear child,
Don't fight any more."
He holds me safe
In Him I'm secure
"Why do you run?
Where can you flee?
I am with you forever."
Said gently to me
I realize at last
That all my faults and my fears
Never mattered to Him
In all of these years
In loneliness I'd taken Him
But then turned away
Trying to fit in
To avoid myself each day
But He doesn't care
I'm perfect to Him
I am accepted
No longer condemned
Unconditional love
He's always enough
Comforting always
Even through the rough

Date unknown
Leaena

Lift Your Eyes

Lift your eyes
See the smile
That crosses His face
Look to the sky
Watch His eyes
The gentleness ever present

Date unknown
Leaena