Do You Hear Him...

Does it heal you to hear His flesh tear all over again?
Does it feel right when the ground drinks in His blood?
Drive the nails deeper
Drive the crown further
The broken Son of Man
Betrayed once again.
Do you smile again as He cries out?
Does it make you proud to see your work?
Your sins hung Him there
You hang Him again
Crushing His heart
With the weight of your darkness
Do you hear His words still?
Can you make out His voice?
It's rising above the earthquake
Louder than the ripping of the veil.
Can you hear Him?
"I love you anyway."

Weight

That it would weigh so heavily on my soul
That I'd be unable to let it go
That I'd be so careful in bearing the weight
That I would be terrified of sharing that fate
Of regressing, of failing, of giving up hope
I want so badly to chase it, I want so badly to know
I want to fall into the arms of my God
But it seems so far to run
It seems so impossible that I be forgiven
So difficult for me to become undone
"At the cross of Christ I know
That death has lost its place"
It's so much easier when you're not staring at the pit
That threatens to be your friend's grave
Jesus please save me!
I'm in need of Your grace!
Without You I'm hopeless
And I cannot be saved.
Christ rescue my sisters
Pull them out from the dark
Show them the light You showed me
When you purified my heart
Oh Jesus please forgive me!
The weight that is my sin!
That is the shame of apathy
That keeps the darkness in
Jesus save Your daughters!
Let Your blood cover theirs
Keep the shadows from their minds, dear God
Hold them close and Christ keep them!
My God I trust Your mercy
I desperately need Your grace
Your kindness, wholeness, purity
Christ Jesus I need Your strength
Restore me, oh my Savior,
As I pursue Your loving heart
Jesus watch Your children
And rescue us from harm.

October 17, 2013
Leaena Tigris

Be One!

Be one, oh Bride
Be filled with life
Be healed, be healers
Be unified
Be one, oh Bride
Move, breathe in time
Love all in your midst
Fulfill your design

Not made to judge or blame
Not made to condemn
Conviction by the Word and Spirit
Unity through Him
When Jesus Christ came down, oh earth
Did you shiver in your place?
As the Son of Man's blood fell
Did you cry out for His grace?

Be one, oh Bride
Be filled with Fire
Be prophets and preachers
Be unified
Be one, oh Bride
Look to the sky
Let the fullness of Grace
Become your desire.

October 11, 2013
Leaena Tigris

"Doors guarded against the gates of Hell can do nothing when the shadow is in your midst."


Poem inspired by John 20:20-23...

"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me..."

... and "Horrified" by Matt Chandler: www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXA6y4I5Vgk

Exciting News, Guys!

NANOWRIMO IS HERE, EVERYONE!!!!

Do you know what that means? No? Well, shame on you. National Novel Writing Month is a challenge for writers everywhere to join together in a quest for awesomeness. People all over the world enlist in this wonderful journey. Our goal? To write a 50,000 word novel in one month. Difficult? Yes. Time consuming? Of course. Dangerous? Very likely so. Worth it? Always.

So, as you may have guessed, I'm in. I've grabbed my coffee, pen, laptop, and creativity and I'm ready to go. My novel is called Ashen Lion. It's a semi-philosophical story based on what could have been true events. It's my first time trying out realistic fiction, so I'm apprehensive, but it'll be a good experience. And guess what I couldn't do it without? That's write (hehe, that's a pun). Nanowrimo.

In honor of this great program, and the month of November, I'm changing my font to this. And I'm fundraising. Nano is run by a nonprofit called The Office of Letters and Light. They rely on donations to keep NaNoWriMo running, and I've decided to help them out. For more information about my fundraising and goals or to donate, go to stayclassy.com/nanoashenlion. I'll also have updates on my novel progress there, a link to my official Nanowrimo page, and other stuff. If you don't go, don't worry. You'll probably just crush my spirits and make me cry. And I'll probably never write ever again. So no pressure.

Thanks guys! I'm super excited about this month. Ima rock this thing!!!

Leaena Tigris

Gummy Bears

At the request of my darling Quacksapup, I created a poem with a triple rhyme scheme. About gummy bears..... That type of rhyming scheme is super hard for me to write. And it's 2:40 AM. 

(( _ _ ))..zzzZZ

Red, Green, Yellow, Clear

The sugary treats do bring a tear

And the best time of all is when they are here

Orange, Yellow, Clear, and Red

I think I dropped one beneath my bed

Should I get another...? No I'll eat this one instead. 

Yellow, Orange, Red, Green

What kind of poem is this you see?

One about gummy bears, rhymed in threes. 

August 2, 2013

Leaena Tigris

Three Poems, One Message: Walls

W ars are fought  and  we  all choose side S

E very      day       we       risk       it       al L

A nd  we   start   to  see   the   unindividua L

L ike   a    pit      where     lives    a    cobr A

L ike    a    war   where    time    will    slo W

B ringing  more pain  than we  want to bea R

U nable  to  fight  the  fear,   to   push   thr U

I cy caves protect  from  ghosts  that  ech O

L ives    spent    searching   for   the    hel P

D ying       right       in       front       of       U

Wars are fought and we all choose sides

Each to their own private lives

All the emotions carefully stored

Looking for relief from emotional swords

Little daggers that stick beneath the skin

Blood pouring out, pain rushing in

Up go the walls, our guardian gates

In a frantic attempt to run and escape

Lies overcome like sun blocked by clouds

Defenses constructed as others surround

Until this moment, this taste of betrayal

People were seen through a wondrous veil

Out seeped the demons though every crack

Until you first witnessed the white turned to black

Realizing that people would hurt if let close

We build up our fortress to maintain our hope

All the time wishing we could be set free

Let these prisons all crumble, let us see, let us breathe

Let the people join together, that no one might fall

Still our vision is contained inside of our walls

Wars are fought and wE all choose sides
Building cAstLes around our Lives
To harBor the gUILt that we cannot Deny
Unexposed behind the coveruP so carefully contrived
To lOck others oUt we so often tRy
Instead We reALize we're captured deepLy inSide.

Remembering that a friend of mine had once written a double acrostic poem, and feeling I should rise to meet his standard, I tried one of my own. I found that wasn't working out too well (turns out not many words end in U so I had to cheat...), I decided I'd make it a single acrostic. From there I had another idea which is the last of these poems. Three poems, one message. We all build up our walls.

Life's Masquerade

All painted faces

And perfected scenes

Colored glass windows

Where light flows in streams

Gentlemen bowing

And ladies curtsy

This is the dance

Of kings and of queens

Lovely silk dresses

And beautiful coats

Wonderful music

With enchanted notes

Each step is chosen

Each word carefully

All is in order

And flows to the beat

This is reality

This is what's fake

This is the marvel

Of life's masquerade

The Body of Christ

Beaten down and broken

Thrown onto the ground

Threatened, whipped, and torn

Attacked by all around

By some who are believers

By some who've turned away

By some who don't know the Gospel

By some who hate His name

But because His body is broken

Because His blood flows out

Redemption emerges from suffering 

And the hope of salvation is found. 

This poem has two meanings. One is the crucifixion, which I think is slightly more obvious. The other is based off of a realization I had a few days ago. There's a quote from Mattie Montgomery, "Christ didn't die on the cross so you didn't have to. He did it to show you how." A lot of people have or will turn from Christianity because of persecution or because it's hard. But we are the Body of Christ, the body that was broken and beaten and torn. We are His hands and feet that were pierced. And because we are attacked, because we are persecuted, His love and mercy shines through us and Salvation flows out to cover those who would come against us.

In Christ Alone.

Leaena Tigris

June 30, 2013

The Night

The sky is more than black, little child. 

More than a moon and circles of lights.

More than crisscrossing lines 

And darker shades. 

The sky is more than gradient, small one.

More than a place we've yet to explore

More than monsters that lurk

Under your bed. 

The night is more than silence, my dearest. 

More than a moment of being alone

More than a breath you take

And let go again...

Summer Was...

This is an old English project. Every summer for the past three or four years I've lost something. Someone. This is from 2010, I think. The summer before, two of my best friends had switched schools. That summer I was going to lose another. So much for anticipation. 

Summer was coming once again. 

We awaited it with anticipation and dreaded it at the same time. 

Summer was a time for dreaming: 

It was laughing with friends or watching a movie together; 

Summer was church camp and seeking opportunities to explore. 

It was a dawn of purpose and ambition rising with the light of each day. 

It was bittersweet candy we savored for as long as we could, because summer was goodbye. 

Summer was a last chance to make up for time lost. 

It was grasping at every moment and clinging on until it slipped through our fingers like burning sand. 

Summer was longing for more time and enjoying what we had left. 

Summer was our hope.

Goldfish

Goldfish
Don't hibernate.
They swim
Not sleep
Don't be stupid.
The end.

It's 2:04 in the morning and I may or may not be sane. I also may or may not be on a sugar rush from a brownie and cheesecake. That was good. Mmmmm.... nom nom nom.

(Untitled)

A boy, a man
Constantly in battle
The dreams of his past
Lurking in the shadows
He's caring, trusting
Lost too much to know
Just how deep his character
Or how far his impact goes
A student, a teacher
Constantly learning
A friend, a writer
Out on a journey.

Yes, a real person. No, I'm not saying who it is. ;)

You know...

"You know"
No I don't
I never did
I don't know you
I don't remember
Who you were
And I don't know who
You're becoming
"Well, you know"
No
I don't know you
Not any more.


Finally caught up with all my Napowrimo posts!

Legend of the Shadow Blade

In the fiery depths of Hell t'was forged
That gleaming, glistening, glittering sword
By the hands of a devilish slaving horde
T'was wrought and brought before their lord
The striker blade did sing of death
The master's heart it stole, and breath
His heart it bound, his spirit kept
When first the sword and man had met
His mortal hand destruction brought
And murder consumed every thought
That demon blade many battles fought
And blood poured out upon the rocks
For many years the king did reign
Upon the power of the slain
Their lifeblood gave him life and strength
And their ghosts' voices cried his name
The battles fought, the wars were won
Never set on the kingdom did the sun
The cost made evident when all was done
More animal than man the king had become
The gallows haunted him with fear
His body dangling in the air
A corpse with no life left to lead
A man who'd left his sanity
The gallows did not take his life
Rather the darkness of his knife
For he had died before he'd hanged
His soul was stolen by the blade.

Find Me There

Somewhere in the lazy night
Where moon and stares shine so bright
Somewhere in the tired night
You will find me there
Step past the river's gentle flow
Through the quiet moonlit grove
Up to the mouth of the darkened cave
Jump with me and float away
You will find me there
Ballroom music from afar
Our spirits soar above the sky
I see us there, just you and I
For you have found me there.

I have no idea what I was thinking at the end. The scheme/flow jolts... I'll fix it later.

Mirrors

When you look into the mirror
You see yourself
Not your reflection
Not your expression
But you
Maybe that's why people
Hate looking into mirrors.

Human

He has a family
A story
A life beyond this hell
He's got dreams
He's got plans
But they're not going well
He's got hope
He's still praying
Doesn't know if he believes
He's still trying
Still fighting
These urges to bleed
You're just joking
Just playing
A laugh between friends
But the voices
They whisper
"They're right. Make it end."
He hides it
Of course
No one must see
You'd all think
He's dangerous
And see him differently
The danger's inside
And it's just
So truly terrifying
To be living
With these lies
And these ghosts and demons taunting.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

She's lonely
She's hurting
She's breaking inside
From the anger
And emotions
She tries so hard to hide
She struggles
She's drowning
In raging, stormy seas
Her hope
Is fadeing
But she's trying to find relief
You're talking
About her
Like she's not even there
Laughing
And mocking
Like you don't even care
She's got a future
A purpose
But she just can't see
Outside of
These cages
Of silence and crushed dreams
She can't let
You know it
She'd just let you down
And she's done that
Too often
To forgive herself now.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

They're human
Do you see
What their value is?
They are people
Just like you
And they truly need a friend
Someone they can
Count on
Who will be by their side
As they go through
These struggles
That say that they should die
To tell them they care
That they matter
That these things are real
That there's more
To these trials
Than what they now feel
That there's hope
Chances exist
That these things will fade
That even though
It does hurt
It's going to turn out okay
These kids are hurting
Don't you see?
You're walking by every day
Watch for them
Help them
To make it through another day.




This probably needs editing, but I really don't feel like doing that right now. Maybe later. Maybe. For now, don't forget to remember how important it is to be human.

Fragments of a new forming Spoken Word

There is now a new microphone

The emphasis of our worlds made known

As words trickle out

From our mouths to your headphones

And the distance we’ve created

Becomes tightly closed

As lives and worlds are intertwined

And my words reach your ears

As your hands reach out to mine

And I learn so quickly to sympathize

Empathize

Because these words aren’t just words

And these thoughts aren’t just mine.

Our generation, these generations

Have nothing in the way of stopping them

Except themselves, ourselves,

 As we continue watching this in our perpetual apathy

And this kind of confused breed of careless complacency

As we pretend to reach out to the least of these,

Our silence proves nothing more

Than disconnected unbelief

And you sit there

So busily absorbed in your computer screen

Thinking surely what you say

Won’t affect people individually

Won’t affect the community

Won’t make such a difference culturally

That someone loses their identity

Because surely

There is a new realm here entirely

In which these messages are more than fantasies

And there is more to our words

Than some misunderstood reality

But really.

The words that you speak

Can heal or they kill

No one ever really thinks that they will

But they do

They can hurt or they can build

Put up fences and walls

Or raise up those that words have killed

They can break a heart

Or restore a relationship

Make something right

Or draw out the worst of it

They can help someone find the strength to fight

Or they can point out weakness

Make darkness from the light

Or bring awareness to a sickness

Your words could be a rally cry

Or they could slaughter everyone

But really.

These words won’t affect anyone.

Will they?

Restoration (new title suggestions?)

The clouds roll
And cover the sky
They look down low
And begin to cry
The world turns black
As the water flows down
Like it did long ago
When blood fell from a crown
The earth shuddered as the crimson
Shattered upon its face
The ground shook and rumbled
And fell back into place
And the thunder roared louder
In the darkness of night
God and man united
Once again
And there was new restoration
Through pain and displacement


Based on the song Sound and Fury by My Epic

Pulses

Pressure.
  Walls caving in.
  It's hard to breathe.
Undone.
  Where did I begin?
  What lies underneath?
Liar.
  Cover up my sin.
  Resort to unbelief.
Savior.
  Can this really be the end?
  I only want to see.
Ending.
  The darkness once again.
  Learning to believe.
Silence.
  I can never mend.
  Praying for release.


So, I've been writing for Napowrimo, but not posting. Today I'm catching up on all my missed posts.

John

I have watched my brothers die alone
I've been sent away from home
I have watched my friends all fade
I've seen the thunder and the rain
It all washes away away
When I've worked so hard to make it stay
It all washes away away
All I wanted was for this to remain

I have built my castles in the sand
I have sculpted all from my own hands
I have written the things I've seen
But nobody seems to truly believe
It all washes away away
I only wanted for this to stay
These kingdoms, these people away away
I just wanted it to remain

I have followed Messiah Christ
I have stood and watched Him die
I was there when He returned
I saw the tongues of fire burn
Will it wash away away
We all hope this does stay
We sit, we wait, don't go away
This we hope and this we pray

I watched the Savior's blood fall down
Onto the rocky, dusty ground
I knew He'd come to save the earth
I knew He'd some day soon return
It will never wash away away
The Kingdom of God forever stays
Never fades away away
The word of Christ our God remains.

Allegiance

We pledge allegiance
To ourselves
The very center of our universe
And to the values
For which we stand
The only truth
Is the individual
Without justice or mercy
For all.

A little cynical, perhaps. But such is life.

The Three

Three servants leading a soldier's march 

winning over the people's hearts. 

The first is a Tiger, the leader of three, 

wise and patient forever is she. 

Her sword ever-ready, her eyes on alert, 

ready but careful to keep others from hurt. 

The second a Lion, ambitious and strong, 

charges too quickly but still holds her own. 

Quick to the battle, sword ever-drawn, 

valiant and ready from dawn to dawn. 

The third a Dog, loyal and true, 

hesitant but willing-- a scribe through and through, 

The Orient hound maps out battle plans, 

encourages others with power in hand. 

The Pureheart, The Valiant, The Seeker are they.

 Sent on a mission, always they stay. 

In the midst of the battle, the heat of the war. 

Fighting for freedom, that they will die for. 

[Picture in progress]